bullies

(posted 04/30/2022)

If you have seen my table set up at local events or looked at my Etsy shop, you will undoubtedly always see some beaded jewelry for sale. When I was in high school, the art room was my escape from being the target of some bullies who picked on us fat kids for sport. My teacher allowed me to go there during gatherings like lunch and study hall where I would otherwise mostly pretend I was reading a thick novel to avoid eye contact with anyone. As part of the art curriculum, I remember making a silver ring and a brass pin. I still have the pin, here’s a picture.

When cutting the metal for this piece, the blade slipped and I put a pretty big gash on the side of my finger. I desperately tried to hide the nonstop blood and avoid attention but was ultimately sent to the office where they dressed the wound (and I of course lied when asked if I had a tetanus shot ha ha!). I can barely see the scar anymore, but it’s there. The bullies are gone from my life thank God, but the mental scars never fully vanished either.

Fast forward to around 2010 when my daughter was a toddler. I was a stay-at-home-mom who quit work when she was born because I wanted to be the one to raise her. Even though I knew it was the best decision for me and her, I felt an enormous amount of guilt and shame for not “working.” That’s when I decided to go to the local craft store and purchase some jewelry making supplies so I could start blooming where I was planted at the time.

I created an LLC called Raeca Jewelry, using a combination of my name and my daughter’s, Camille. Well, not knowing much about the principles of business, I am sure I spent more money on supplies than necessary and it quickly became a hobby rather than a business. I created the Raeca Jewelry shop on Etsy, had business cards made, then sold a few items to family. A friend suggested I try selling it in person, but my anxiety about being in public (stemming from high school no doubt) always made me shudder at the thought. I ended up giving away most of what I made as gifts.

Fast forward to 2018 and beyond. By this time I had gravitated toward doing wall art work again and discovered a new medium called encaustic which is painting with a mixture of beeswax and tree resin. I closed the Raeca business and opened Wolf Pup Studio. My studio became filled with beeswax, heated tools, pastel pigments, brushes, and wood panels. In 2020, a great friend (and art buyer) introduced me to a lady hosting a local art event where I could set up a table outdoors. Up until that point, I had sold a few encaustic pieces through some local shops. Being my shy self, I figured there wouldn’t be many people at the sale due to the pandemic so I took the leap. Happy ending – I sold lots of my art and jewelry that day! And after attending a few more art markets over the past couple years, I’m much less anxious when selling in person.

My jewelry supplies are still on a shelf in my studio, and I pull them all out occasionally. I think I’ll always make time for the jewelry. It’s meditative and fun, and that’s simply why I still like to do it.